Monday, July 1, 2013

OMGumballs!

Yes, OMGumballs! Oh how life throws us curve-balls! More like freaking pellet gun bibis!!!!!! So yes, I have disappeared for a good while. (Seriously?!?! Apparently I can't spell or look things up in a dang dictionary!) =/ Awe, man! O.k. So let me start by telling you guys what has been happening.

 These last few weeks have been busy and very emotional. My daughter just turned 16 and I can't believe it. Her birthday was on the 19th but we didn't celebrate until the 22nd.  We had a little bar-be-que with close family and friends; she was a very happy camper. It's been a while since I 'threw' a party...a big Mexican party. The last time I threw one was 7 years ago. Why? ever since my mom passed away 6 years ago it has never been the same.  I don' t know...it was a thing that my mom and I did together even when she was as sick as she was, we always planned them together. =( It's not the same. You should have seen me! I was like a chicken with her head cut off! I didn't take many pictures like I wanted and even forgot a lot of things. I'm very rusty and times like these it's just very emotional.

The day before her little party it was my mom's anniversary.  I did better than the past years but I still broke down. Even after 6 years it still seems so fresh.  I would have done better but something happened that caused me to become an emotional wreck! I got a call from an agency that I applied at to work at a garlic company.  This was the FIRST employer that had called me over a year and a half! Yes, a year and a half! As many of you know, I have been taking care of my dad and recently we had car problems where I have not been able to be with my dad everyday as I was used too. My dad is fine but the thought of me not being there everyday is very difficult for my dad and me.  We  have and are struggling financially....just so much more going on that I don't want to go into details.

Anyway, the garlic company. I have not worked in the fields since I was a kid. My mom put my brother and I to work in the fields with her or with family because she wanted us to know what it was like and to make us understand that she didn't want a life like that for us. She wanted us to get an education and get a career where we would be happy.   In the beginning of my job search I stuck with places I wanted to work at and where I was comfortable at...time passed and I wasn't getting anything. Then I decided to start applying at regular stores...nothing.  At one time I even applied as a fork lift operator! LOL!  Still nothing. So finally I applied with an agency that focused on field work.  I didn't want to do it but I had too and guess what? I got a job; 330A.M-12P.M.

It's not something that I was happy about but at the same time I was grateful and elated beyond belief to have finally got a job.  I felt like I was disappointing my mom because she worked her butt off for us not to have to work like this. She didn't want us to suffer like she did.  One of my mom's last jobs before she got really sick was at a garlic company. I remember I would walk her to work and when I got a car I would take her and pick her up. I remember the smell of garlic on her and that was so comforting. She and my dad worked in the fields and my mind fills of memories of all the smells and see them come home so exhausted.  Their bodies suffered for working like that and it breaks my heart.

So on my mom's anniversary I got this call to work at the garlic. It was heart wrenching and I cried so much. I still cry. I'm working in a shed/warehouse instead of outside. Yes it is better but still hot and humid. My back hurts, my feet are aching...it's harder than I remember and I'm inside! I see all these faces around me and can't help but think of my mom and dad.  So many of them have no choice but to work in this fields to feed their families and pay bills. How they do it, how my parents did it...I have no idea.

I was forgetting where I came from and becoming too comfortable with working in air-conditioned buildings where you sat more that 30 minutes a day...and 'easy' job.  I'm surrounded by fields; almonds, cotton, grapes,roses, tomatoes, garlic, onions...and just started to look past them.  Now? I remember and it's a constant reminder that 'my' people are still doing what they have to do.  Reminding me where I came from and remember how good we have it.

God has his plans. I may not like where I'm at right now but I know there is a purpose.  I may have felt like I have let my mom down but at the same time I need this to remember what sacrifices my parents made for us.      This is not a punishment...this is a gift.

So yep. This is why I have been missing.  Today I was let out sooner than usual so I decided to catch up with you guys and all my crafty stuff.  I know this is  a lot but I wanted to share.The new Sushi Dolls will be posted in a bit and I'll be making a vid/slide show in a while too.  I have also extended the D.T call until the end of this week.  I just need to get a new schedule going for me because I don't seem to have enough time and I'm just so exhausted.  I think that's it for now.

Muchos hugs,

Susi

5 comments:

  1. Susi, Your post had me in tears. My Mother traveled all across the central and western United states as a kid with her migrant worker parents. People see this Mexican Lady and are shocked to find out she was born in a small town in Michigan. Yep! that's what happens when the family needs to move around with the work. You are an amazingly strong person and they say the lord works in mysterious ways. The fact that you see this as a blessing a gift is saying alot. I wish you all the best and that good things come your way very soon. Your post made me appreciate what my mother and grandparents did, I think I needed to read this! Mucha Fuerza amiga, todo va salir bien, que Dios de Bendiga! Ahorita mismo le voy a llamar a mi Mami y agradecerle por lo que hiso para que nosotros pudieramos gozar de una vida mejor. Con carino
    Ruthie

    ReplyDelete
  2. hi my sweet sweet friend. thank you for sharing this story with us. you are truly amazing and strong. things have been a little rough over here, but i feel that it is a blessing as well. things happen to make way for good things. stay strong! love ya girlee!! *hugs* and much aloha, steph

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wow Susi. Thanks so much for telling your story. You're such an amazing person. Most of us who are de la raza understand what you're talking about through our parents, aunts, uncles and cousins. You're such a person to tell this out loud to everyone. I admire you so much. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wow Susi, You are such a strong and positive person! You are an inspiration and keep in mind this is just a little rain all this shall pass! Big Hugs from South Texas
    *Alice Ledezma (youtube:VintageGal18)

    ReplyDelete
  5. ¡Susi de todo lo bueno o malo se nos presenta en nuestra vida aprendemos, quizá este momento es efectivamente para que acabes de asimiliar la pérdida de tu mami y retomar tu vida, gracias a Dios conseguiste empleo no el mejor de ellos peor ya lo tienes, que eso es lo importante, ahora se responsable, trata de destacar como empleada efeciente, responsable, en pocas palabras ¡Se la mejor, tu puedes!

    ReplyDelete